A Fire in the Heart Read online

  Gabriel turned at the sound of his name and smiled as he saw Angelique, Riley, Baxter, Liam, and Declan standing in a row. They all looked tired, but they also looked determined. He held out his arms, inviting any of them who wished to hug him.

  Angelique moved first, hugging him so tightly that if he’d been human, he would have winced. But Gabriel held her easily, feeling her shake as she clung to him.

  “You okay, Trouble?” he murmured.

  “Not so much, but I have to pretend to be for everyone else,” she replied.

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Gabriel tightened his arms around her a little. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She nodded against his shoulder. “In a bit, if that’s okay? Just you and me?”

  “Of course.” Gabriel rubbed her back.

  19

  “I WANT to thank you all,” Lily said. She had moved into the middle of the room and was facing everyone now, and Gabriel wondered what she was going to say. He had a bad feeling, and he steeled himself, preparing mentally for the worst.

  “You don’t have to thank us, Lil,” Declan said. “Honest. You’re family, and family looks out for each other.”

  “You’re very kind, Declan,” she said. “But I need to say something, so….”

  “Say whatever you need,” Liam said.

  “Okay.” Lily took a deep breath. “I was—am—devastated by what Danny did. It feels like there’s a hole in myself that will never fill, and….” She paused to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I don’t want to be one of those people who’s so locked up in their own pain that they can’t see anything else. I want you all to know that what Danny did wasn’t that big of a surprise to me—leaving Venatores, that is. He’d been talking about it for a few months now.

  “I just thought it was talk. I mean, I love Venatores, and I thought he did too. And… he didn’t, it appears. At least, not as much as I do. Venatores has given me family, home, friends, work, safety. Venatores has given me purpose. And these are things that Danny has always known are very important to me. He knew I’d been to Hell, he knew that I wanted to learn more about how I managed to survive there and that by doing so I’d be spending more time with Adry and Andy.”

  “Andy?” Gabriel asked.

  “Ondrass,” Angelique said.

  Gabriel burst out laughing. “Oh hell, I have to call him that.”

  Lily gave him a small smile. “He lets me do it.”

  “Aye, he likes you.” Gabriel chuckled. “Andy the Archdemon. It does have a certain ring to it.”

  “He’s going to be so annoyed,” Adramelek said, grinning.

  “Good. He gets too smug, sometimes.”

  “Anyway,” Lily rushed on, “all this stuff, Danny knew. He said he was okay with it. Then he was in that coma, and… he’s never been seriously hurt before, not like that. He was in the war, fighting hard, as we all were. But he managed to come through it without too much damage. So I thought this would be the same. When he woke up, and the first moment I looked in his eyes, I knew. I knew something had changed in him. I hoped I was wrong. I was so glad he was awake and alive and back with me, but the days after he woke up, I realized that he’d been changed a lot by what happened to him, to us, over in Yaak. He talked more and more about leaving. We had some enormous fights over it. He wanted me to leave with him, and he was so furious when I said I wouldn’t do that. He said that I chose Venatores over him, so obviously I didn’t love him.

  “Then he and Dec had their little fight, and he decided that was it, I think. Oh, it’s not your fault, Declan, really it isn’t. He’d made his decision, but now he was going to call Michael and make it official. So when he finally did that, up on the roof… he broke my heart, but he didn’t surprise me by doing so. And I think that’s worse. If it had been a surprise to me, then all of this would make some kind of weird sense, like he just decided this out of the blue and blindsided me. But he didn’t, and I feel as if this is my fault, too, because I wouldn’t leave with him.”

  “No, no, no.” Gabriel took a step forward. “This ain’t your fault, Lily. Not even a little. He’s capable of making his own decisions.”

  “I know. Intellectually, I know. I just. This is so hard.” Lily sighed. “I want to be better. I don’t want to be in tears all the time. I don’t want to feel all this heartbreak and pain. I want it gone, or at least a buffer put up so it doesn’t affect me. Is there a way to do that? Gabriel? Adry?”

  Gabriel and Adramelek exchanged a look.

  “There is,” Gabriel began, “but we’d have to get Raphael for it. I don’t want to be messing about with your brain, it ain’t my place.”

  “What our glorious general just said,” Adramelek said. “I’m sure he can call Raphael, and Raphael will help.”

  Lily nodded. She looked relieved. “Thank you. And there’s something else.”

  “Aye, thought there might be,” Gabriel said.

  “I want to go back to work. Pack are all healthy; we don’t need to be coddled.”

  “Aye, thought you might want that, too.” Gabriel looked over at Angelique, Baxter, and Riley. “What do you three say?”

  “If that’s what Lily wants, then I’m for it,” Angelique said. “She’s my beta, after all.”

  “Yeah, I’m good with it,” Baxter said. “Pack sticks together, and a mission’s a good way to tighten that bond.”

  “I agree,” Riley said in his soft voice.

  “All right. I’ll call Raph now; then he can work with Lily and afterward he can call Michael and let him know.”

  “You’re not going to speak to him about a mission?” Adramelek asked.

  “I did already. He doesn’t agree with me.” Gabriel shrugged.

  “What did you say?” Angelique asked.

  “I said that being in the field and fighting, getting revenge, is sometimes the best cure for heartache, and he didn’t think that was right.”

  “Well, it is right, and you are right,” Angelique said. “I’ll call him while you call Raph.”

  “Okay.” Gabriel laughed. “Good luck with bullying Michael, Trouble.”

  She gave him a salute, and then pulled her cell phone from the pocket of her jeans and moved to the far side of the room.

  Gabriel turned back to the little group and faced Lily, smiling at her. “I’ll call Raph now,” he said.

  “Thanks, Gabriel,” she said.

  “Don’t mention it.” Gabriel moved away and closed his eyes, reaching out with his power for Raphael.

  “Gabriel?” Raphael’s mental voice was a warm, solid sound in Gabriel’s mind.

  “Hi, Raph. Listen, we need your help.”

  “What can I do?”

  Gabriel told Raphael what had happened and then explained Lily’s request. When he’d finished, Raphael let out a soft, mental sigh.

  “I can do it, that’s no problem, but it will be like it is with Baxter. I can block it, but if she mentally picks at it too much, the block will come down, and she’ll be confronted with the full force of her memories and pain again.”

  “I’m sure once she understands the situation, she’ll be fine.”

  “All right. Then I’ll be over there in ten minutes.”

  “Thanks, Raph. Oh, we’re in a spiffy room in Ondrass’s tower.”

  “I’ll grab the location from your mind. See you soon.”

  Gabriel pulled his power back and opened his eyes. For a moment, he considered reaching out to Michael, but a quick glance at Angelique showed him that she was still on the phone, and Gabriel knew that her conversation with his lover would take time.

  Time. That was one thing he wasn’t sure they had a lot of. While he knew that finding the information they needed to shut down Transom for good and all was of the utmost importance, he wasn’t certain that they would discover it before Transom began launching its plans. He was frustrated and annoyed—he wanted to deal with the threat now, get it over with, and then do as he had said he would to Adramele
k: talk to his choir about being true protectors and not bad houseguests of Earth.

  “Hey, Gabe.” Baxter had come up beside him, and Gabriel smiled at the blond young man.

  “Hey yourself. How’s things?”

  “I’m okay. Listen, do you think Mikey would be pissed if we did a small recon job? Once Raph’s done his mojo on Lily’s brain, that is.”

  “Depends on the job. What have you got in mind?”

  “Well, we need to do something; you, Angelique, Adramelek, Lily—everyone’s right about that. But all of our smart people are reading off computer screens, and that’s like torture to me. So I was thinking. If we can find out what part of the States this new Transom facility is in, even if we know the county, then we can scout around.”

  It was a daring suggestion, and Gabriel nodded slowly. “Aye, I reckon that’s a grand idea. Let me talk with Tzad upstairs and see if he’s managed to narrow things down a little. Or,” as another thought came to him, “we can go to a few hospitals and see if there are any leaflets like that one that Sammy and Ahi brought back from Jessica-Mae’s fam. Transom will be wanting new guinea pigs, yeah? What better way to get ’em?”

  Baxter looked faintly sick. “I hate that they do that.”

  “You and me both, kiddo.”

  “Okay, well, when’s Raph getting here?”

  Gabriel grinned as he felt the Archangel of Healing moving through the ether. “Right about now.”

  A moment later, there was Raphael, and he smiled warmly around the room at everyone. “Hello, all.” He nodded to Adramelek, then to Gabriel. “And where’s Lily?”

  “Here, sir.” She stepped forward, her face very pale, making her blue eyes seem almost unnaturally bright.

  “Gabriel explained to me what you need, and I can do as you wish, but I must tell you that if you pick at it too much, the block that I’ll put into your mind will come down, and all the pain you’re feeling will come rushing back.”

  Lily nodded. “I understand. Can you make it so I can remember what happened, but it’s more… I don’t know… detached?”

  “You want to be able to retain the memory but not experience the emotion? Yes, I can do that. However, that won’t stay that way indefinitely. These sorts of barriers aren’t intended to do so because the human mind and psyche must work through these things naturally.”

  Lily nodded again. “That’s fine. Well, not fine, but I’d prefer that. If I can deal with it later, after this Transom business, that’s far more preferable for me. I know I’m being awfully clinical about this, but I think work is the best thing for me, and if I’m always in tears and depressed, I won’t be able to work, and I really want to.”

  “Of course you do.” Raphael smiled at her. “You want to do something to keep busy, to distract yourself. And you also have a strong work ethic so that you want to be able to work without the distractions. I completely understand. Now, if you’ll sit down and make yourself comfortable, I’ll begin.”

  “Thanks, Raph,” Lily said. She looked enormously relieved, Gabriel thought, and he watched as she went over to an armchair and sat down, folding her legs beneath herself. She looked even tinier there, and Raphael, moving to stand beside her, seemed almost to loom over her as if he were a giant.

  “She’s petite, isn’t she?” Adramelek murmured to Gabriel.

  “Aye. I forget sometimes.”

  “Force of personality makes her seem much taller.”

  “You like her a lot, don’t you?”

  “I really do. We all do. She’s a very sweet girl, Gabriel. Make sure she lives, or I’m coming for you personally.”

  Gabriel turned to face Adramelek, his eyebrows quirked. “I wasn’t going to let her die, but accidents happen, you know. And do you really think you can take me?”

  Adramelek gazed at him calmly, with no show of fear or any suggestion of backing down. “I am aware of accidents, and I am also aware of your ability to ensure that they do not occur. All of you Archangels are capable of making sure people don’t die, either through shielding them or giving them your magical holy armor or something like that. As for the other, well, I don’t know. But I’d certainly give you a run for your money, General.”

  Gabriel regarded Adramelek for a moment. “All right. Point taken, though it wasn’t necessary for you to make it. Anyway, Michael won’t want this pack too close to the center of things, no matter how much Angelique bullies him.”

  “Aren’t you going to send them on recon to hospitals to rifle through leaflets in waiting rooms?” Adramelek asked. “I heard what you said earlier.”

  “Aye, I am.”

  “Then make sure they’re shielded, or I will. And if I do it, they’ll all be touched by Hell, and I rather imagine your beloved Michael won’t want that.”

  That was probably true, Gabriel thought, so he nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Good. Although I’m curious why you seem so reluctant.”

  “I’m not so much reluctant as I think it’s a bit of a waste of time. But before you point out that shit happened in Yaak, which was supposed to be a simple recon mission, I realize that sometimes extraordinary measures are needed.”

  “I’m glad you understand that.” Adramelek hesitated a moment. “I think Michael would disagree with you, though. I also think he’d rather send this pack back to Salem and lock them up in their apartments after wrapping them up in cotton wool.”

  Gabriel laughed at that. “Aye, now that’s probably spot-on. But he can’t, and he knows it, deep down. It’s just knowing it makes him sad, because then he thinks of mortality, and then he gets all maudlin.”

  “Which must be lovely to live with. Sometimes, I wonder how you two actually manage to stay together.”

  Gabriel shrugged. “We’re very well matched.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  “Is that it?” Lily’s voice cut through the quiet conversation, and Gabriel turned back to look at her and Raphael.

  “It is indeed. How do you feel?”

  “Not too bad, actually. Calm. And thirsty.”

  “Drink plenty of clear fluid—water, I mean, not vodka—and rest up for the remainder of today and tonight. Tomorrow, you can go out and work.”

  Lily stood up and hugged Raphael. “Thank you,” she said as she let him go. “Thank you, all of you,” she added, looking around the room.

  Angelique walked over to join them. “Michael’s cranky,” she said, “but there’s nothing new about that. He said that we can do an easy mission to start with, and Gabe can decide what that is. And he wants Gabe to join him as soon as possible.”

  “Did he say where?”

  “Yeah, somewhere called the island.” Angelique shrugged.

  “Aye, I know where he means. All right, I know what your first mission is. Tomorrow morning, Shateiel and Vel will take you around the country, visiting the various hospitals that have clinics for patients with incurable diseases. Check out all the papers lying around the waiting rooms. Baxter suggested there’d be something to give us a clue as to where this new facility is gonna be in those, like there was in the one that Jessica-Mae’s fam had.”

  Angelique nodded. “Right you are, boss.”

  “Take it easy for tonight. Shateiel and Vel will be here for you at 0800.”

  She saluted. “Roger that.”

  “And now I’ll go see Michael. Rest well, everyone. Adramelek, your request’s been met. See you all in a day or so.” Gabriel gave them all a salute, winked at Raphael, and then teleported straight to Belle Coeur and the wide veranda that surrounded the house, knowing that he would find Michael there.

  Michael was leaning forward on the balustrade, gazing into the rainforest. Gabriel joined him, sliding his arm around Michael’s shoulders and smiling as Michael leaned into him.

  “Hi.”

  “Hello.”

  “How’re you feeling, Mishka?”

  Michael sighed. “I am disquieted, but there is nothing
I can do about it, I fear.”

  “What’s up?”

  “I am very sad about Danny. I have been thinking back, striving to find a reason for his behavior, and alas, I cannot.”

  “Would it help if I told you that Lily wasn’t surprised he left Venatores? Okay, she was damn surprised he left her, and heartbroken, but not about Venatores. He’d been wanting to for a while, she said.”

  Michael sighed again. “I had thought he was wholly committed to Venatores and to his wife.”

  “Who can say why humans do anything?” Gabriel tightened his embrace slightly. “Personally, I think he’s an idiot. He gave up a great job, good friends, and a lovely wife for what?”

  “His family are… I do not recall. He did not speak of them, to me at any rate. He must feel very deeply for them, however.”

  “Aye, maybe. I don’t know. In any case, Raphael came over and he put a block in Lily’s mind, just enough of one so she ain’t incapacitated by her grief. She wants to work. She needs to, I reckon. And she knows that she can’t do her job properly if she’s grieving. So she can access the memories, but it’ll be in a detached way. Raph said the block will come down naturally ’cause she needs to work through this and all, but it’ll be up for long enough for her to do her bit in fighting the good fight.”

  “That is good. I am glad he could help her.”

  “Aye. I gave ’em a small mission. Shateiel and Vel will take ’em around various hospitals in the morning. Baxter had a good plan to check out the leaflets in hospital waiting rooms, and I sort of expanded it, so they’ll check ’em out and see if Transom’s people have started advertising, looking for new folk to do their evil work on.”

  Michael growled low in his throat at that. “Those people do not deserve to breathe the air on this beautiful planet.”

  “Agreed.”

  “What are we going to do, Gabriel?”

  “Well, go through the data, our smart boffins can sort through it, and the kids’ll go check hospitals, and then we’ll pay a visit to Transom’s new facility and kill ’em all.”

  Michael winced. “I was with you until the last part.”

  “You really think any of ’em deserve mercy? With everything they’ve done willingly to their own kind, to the monsters who ain’t hurting anyone, to demons, and to us?”